Thursday, July 30, 2015

It's Not About Walter


 
 
Today, I learned a lot about myself after learning about Walter J. Palmer, a dentist who is sorry for having illegally hunted a well-known and liked lion named Cecil.  This post is an unfiltered thought process that I am sharing with you (regardless of your in/out group status). 
 
From all that I could gather, it seems that many people are upset with Walter for killing an animal that was loved and connected to many human animals.  The upset is so much that his dental practice is taking a hit.  Apparently many of his former patients have claimed to no longer use his services.   His website and other digital connections have been bombarded and shut down.  Seems like a cyber-mob has been cast upon him based on his actions. 
 
I have two thoughts about this.

1. Like many posts later in the day, I wonder what it might be like if we were to have this kind of passion behind the continuous killings of mostly black men in the U.S.  I suppose that is a different subject all together as it is easy to pinpoint Walter as one person for this violence, whereas the shootings of the many black folks were not done by one person alone, but by a large and complex institution.  This seems to make it difficult to know where to put the blame.  Should all cops be blamed for the murders?  Of course not, even though some people seem to believe so.  Should the police officer in question be held accountable (as in the recent case where Officer Tensing shot and killed Sam Dubose, see below)?  Of course, but that in of itself is short sighted.  The larger institution and culture needs to shift, otherwise, as the past has shown, this will continue. 
 
 
2. Staying focused on Walter's enacted violence, I can't help but to feel saddened that people are seeking some sort of revenge on him for illegally hunting and killing a well-known and liked animal.  I feel sad because of two larger points are not in the conscious dialogue that I have read thus far. 
 
a)      It saddens me to see that many folks are focused on the point that this was an “illegal” hunt/kill. I don't think that illegally hunting and killing a well-known and liked animal is the problem.  Any hunting and killing of nonhuman animals is the problem.  Whether this was done legally or illegally should not be the question, although I can understand that we must work within the policies and laws.  However, like Hebrew National states in their commercials, isn't there a higher power with a set of laws that we might consider?  If it were legal to hunt people for sport or food, would that make it ok?  I don't think so. 
b)      I also saddened by the response of folks online.  Many people who are offended by Walter’s choice to hunt illegally (even if he states that it was by accident), are outraged, as they should be.  However, this outrage, for many, has turned into statements of wanting him to be hunted and killed.  Some posts on FB has stated that they would like to see his life ruined since he illegally hunted and killed Cecil the lion.  This kind of reaction is normal, and yet makes me sad.


It appears to me that compassion is what Walter was lacking, and in turn, many of us are lacking in compassion when considering his fate.  Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said that darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.  In this case, I think that compassion is what we need to consider while still holding Walter accountable for his actions.  Of course, I can’t really hold him accountable for anything, but I can be accountable for my own thoughts and actions.  And like the many people online who are ranting and raving, I wonder if there is a chance for them to show some compassion and not join Walter in his journey of destruction, rather perhaps feel for what it might be like for him to endure this mistake.  I do hope that he learns from it, yet I think he needs that chance to be able to learn from it.  If it were up to some of the folks who posted online today, he would not have a chance as he would have been beheaded.

 
In/Out Group Thinking
So I couldn’t stop thinking about the bigger picture here.  How is hunting for nonhuman animals somehow justified?  How do we justify wanting Walter’s head as a trophy?  How do we find ourselves supporting one cause over another?  What kind of thinking makes us able to do this?  
 
In and Out group thinking is what allows us to do this.  We generally unconsciously consider in and out group statuses as it relates to us. 
In this case, Walter viewed Cecil the lion as part of an out group, thus allowing him to enact violence on him without much compassion or empathy and with joy and excitement.  Walter’s haters have decided that he is part of their out group, and thus can easily wish him harm without remorse and with vigor.
In group and out group thinking is powerful and pervasive.  When I consider all the choices I make, I realize each choice has been filtered through my unconscious barometer of in/out group testing.  The posts I choose to read, the ones that I “like” or “share,” the people I call friends, the homeless people I am willing to make eye contact with on the subway are all filtered as safe or unsafe through my in/out group lens. 
I suppose in many ways, Walter is part of my out group.  I don’t know him, and probably never will.  It is safe to hate him, just like he supposedly thought it was safe to hunt Cecil.   However, I think my response to what he did really isn’t about him.  It’s about my response to people who I consider as part of my out group.  Walter may have seen Cecil as part of his out group and thereby felt justified to cause so much harm.  Am I willing to do that with the many members of my out group?  I sincerely hope not.
 

Thank you for reading my thoughts.  Please let me know if you have any questions or if you have any triggered thoughts yourself.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Three Satirical and Powerful Must See Videos

You gotta check out these videos, if you haven't already!

From Frozen to Blurred Lines, these parodies don't just poke fun at the song, but at a larger institutional and cultural bias in regards to gender.  The last video is a parody of the song Royal that illuminates what I have been thinking for a long time in regards to who gets what roles in the big box office movies.

I hope you enjoy and share these videos with others!

Ever wondered how a feminist might view each Disney Princess's journey? 
Warning: This video includes Stockholm Syndrome!
 
Stockholm Syndrome is when the victim or survivor empathizes with the abuser.
 
There are no Blurred Lines in this Video! 
This video makes it very clear what is a Sex Criiiiiiiime!
 
Ever wonder what it looks like behind the scenes when women of color audition for roles?
Perhaps this video offers some insights as to what might be going on in the industry.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Paying Attention to the Bright Pink Flag

I started this year on a journey of radical self care, and enlisted several of my friends to support me on this path. It was easy to get their support as I posted something on my blog last week, spoke with friends on the phone, connected with them on social media, and met them in person to talk about my goals. 

To my surprise, many of my friends replied in the same way. The collective response was, "I'm so glad you are focusing to take more care of yourself!"   

In these conversations, texts, and emails, I realized that I missed my friends so much.  I wondered how could I cultivate more time to spend with them.  In one interesting phone call, I discovered the answer.  

Just last week, I was on the phone with a friend sharing a problem that I was facing. My friend paused me for a second, and told me I was slipping backwards in my journey of radical self care.  My focus in the conversation was less on me and more on the person I was trying to help.  My friend then told me, in the most gentlest way, that I was not seeing the warning signs. I kept making excuses for what would be red flags because I was too focused on wanting to be helpful. 

As you might expect, I was troubled by this. I argued there were no red flags. The issues exhibited by the person I was trying to help were minor. 

My friend retorted by saying perhaps I could pay attention to the bright pink flags that can easily and quickly turn to red flags. Bam!  I just got served a hot juicy plate of a reality that was just outside my worldview. Why should I wait for the red flags at all?  

After that phone call, I wondered how many bright pink flags have I ignored and then was later surprised to see glaringly dangerous red flags in their place.  If I didn't spend so much time making excuses for people with bright pink flags, how much time could I save?  How much time did I lose every day, week and year?  What if I saved that time (and energy) and spent it on me, or on friends that I really care about?

In 2014, I am drawing the proverbial line in the sand. No more bright pink flags for me please. 


Monday, January 6, 2014

The First Step to Self-Care: A New Year's Resolution

Happy New Year!

It is a common practice for many people to create a new year’s resolution.  It is also very common for people to never have a resolution.  I fall into this last category.  I don't recall ever having a resolution.  Don't get me wrong, I have made many transformative changes over the years, but I have never used January as a starting point.  Perhaps it's because I think in terms of an academic school year, where the new year starts in September.

Interestingly, I spent the end of 2013 on a short vacation, away from my normal life and returned with a new sense of self.  As I enter my new calendar year, and my new school semesters (as a student and a teacher), I am considering creating my first new year's resolution.  Check it out.
 

I spent the last few years focusing on the needs of others (colleagues, friends, family, and strangers). Although I'm not close to being like Mother Theresa, I did adopt an older child (19), loaned and gave money to friends and family, gave a car to a friend, fed the homeless, and donated to several charities. This year, I am hoping to volunteer with SAGE. 
Like you, my journey into feminism has taught me many things.  I have learned to empower people around me, putting my own ego aside.  Unfortunately, I didn't learn the other side of feminism, which is to radically take care self.  I have on many occasions put my needs aside creating an imbalance in my life. So, my resolution is to focus inward and cultivate more self-care.  Ironically, I know that helping others is a strong motivation for me, so I am hopeful that blogging my journey will help others, and therefore motivate me to keep focusing on self-care.   

By blogging, I will hold myself accountable to the invisible audience and critics in my head.  I will post an entry once a week on a Tuesday for at least 4 weeks.  Knowing that you could be reading this, and this might inspire you, helps keep my motivation up.  So please check this out and let me know what you think.  I could always use feedback and encouragement.

And if this does inspire you to cultivate more self-care this season, so let it be!

Happy New Year, and enjoy your resolution if you have one.  If not, enjoy mine!

Monday, November 18, 2013

Rap - Homophobia: Say What?

Prefer your rap minus the homophobia? Well, use the following link to find a list of queer rap artists.  It's nice to have variety, wouldn't you say?

http://www.salon.com/2013/11/16/10_queer_rappers_you_should_be_listening_to_instead_of_eminem/

Warning: Just because the artists fall in the queer continuum, doesn't mean that they are any less sexist, racist, specieism or classist. 

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Black Feminists: Won't You Be My Neighbor?

One of my neighbors learned recently that I adopted two 22 year old black men who are living with me.  I mentioned that my second "child," who just moved in had to adjust to so many things as I am vegan and a feminist.

She sent me a thoughtful and lengthy email, which included a video link to a discussion about Black Feminists.  I think she was concerned and confused.  Below this is part of the email I wrote her after painfully listening to the hour long video.  Please let me know what you think.

The video she sent me is: http://youtu.be/8mJMjIHmsZ8
Quote from the Tariq Nasheed:
"You are a black woman, but you are a feminist."

Please brace yourself before you watch it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Portion of the email I sent her:

I had a difficult time listening to Tariq as he started his show being verbally abusive towards a woman and perpetuated misogynistic perspectives from a "Man up" lens.

Feminism is not about men and women treating each other badly.  Feminism, as you know, is about the strive for equality for both men and women on an institutional, interpersonal and internalized level.  Domestic and Dating Violence or simply unhealthy relationships is only one part of the issue.  Tony Porter does a great job speaking about DV. He speaks eloquently about these issues and helped open my eyes to learning about how race impacts dating violence.   Please check him out using this link:   http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=tony+porter&oq=tony+porter&gs_l=youtube.3..35i39j0i5.339606.341252.0.341417.11.11.0.0.0.0.116.752.10j1.11.0...0.0...1ac.1.11.youtube.2SN93NHZwp4

I do appreciate Tariq's ability to stay neutral with his callers as well as challenge them to think more critically about the issues.  He clearly is interested in helping people, and that is commendable.  However, I find his sexist language unchecked and sometimes quite offensive. 

To my mind, he is certainly doing good work on race relations, but I imagine he can think more about the sexist and heterosexism and transphobic paradigm he continues to perpetuate unintentionally.  Feminism is not about being less of a man, but being more.  I don't wear dresses or kilts and I have not asked my boys to do the same.  What I do is ask them to do is reconsider what it means to be a man. 

Being a feminist is not about being feminine, gay or simply standing up for women.  Being a feminist is about standing up for human rights.  Many of Tariq's underlying themes relate to social justice and equality.  So, I would submit that if Tariq learned more about feminism, sexual orientation (hetero and homo- sexualities), he would probably be a more effective leader.  He might even identify as a feminist, like President Obama does.  Based on this link, it appears he is in denial of his homophobia and transphobia.  He labeled a perspective as a lesbian perspective, when that is not the case.  He continues to say "sexual preference" when it is "sexual orientation."  These are some examples of why I think he could do well to learn a little more about LGBT issues as well as what the true meaning of feminism.

Tariq said, "Black feminism is an oxymoron."  I don't understand what he means.  He is misinformed, albeit well intentioned.  I hope he continues, as I have, to learn about social justice and the ways pop culture portrays feminism,  and racism in juxtaposition with actual feminism and racism.  A black feminist is a man or woman or child who identifies as black and is interested in equal rights for all people.  It used to be that a feminist was only interested in creating equal rights for men and women, but that was a long time ago.  Feminism is about equal rights for all.

I so appreciate you sharing this video/link with me as it helped me think through more of the positions people take when they have only part of the story.  I look forward to seeing how Tariq continues in his journey of helping people, as his heart and spirit is certainly well intentioned and we need more people like him.

And, you probably already know this, but I have found that many people confuse feminism and being
feminine.  Feminism, as previously discussed is a movement for equality for all, (though many defnitions still incorrectly state that it is in particular for women). 

Being feminine is different.  Femininity is about the traits generally associated with being a woman or a girl including roles and behaviors.  Of course, some men and women are feminine, but that doesn't mean they are feminists and vice versa.  Some feminists have long hair, wear dresses, make up and the like, while many, especially the men, don't. 

I think of it in this way.  Feminist = Equality while Feminine = Dress Up.  Some people who fight for equality do dress up, but not all.  Some people who dress up fight for equality, but not all.  AND many men who are feminists are quite masculine and butch.  And of course, a few women who are feminists can be masculine and butch as well.

Please check out the following videos about Feminism, Race and Masculinity:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7woNwM4_J8 - Condoleezza Rice: My Father was  Feminist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YA13GNT8Mc  - This is What a Feminist Looks Like
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hg3umXU_qWc - We Should All Be Feminists
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOQZqCGHctE - I Am a Man: Black Masculinity in America
http://www.itvs.org/films/hip-hop - Intro to Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKq0MwnMGcU&list=PLCC77DC92A01D4A41 - Gloria Steinem Supports President Obama
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3exzMPT4nGI - Tough Guise: Violence, Media, and the Crisis in Masculinity

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Can You See Me Now?

I entered the D train to head into Manhattan for some dancing and fun.  As I checked the subway map, I accidentally bumped into the person behind me.  I didn't see him there, so I apologized.  He nodded a polite smile at me.  When I sat down, I  realized he was standing in the same spot while holding a cardboard sign.  He wore a grey tshirt with the American flag on it and what appeared to be a heavy bag on his back.  He cleared his throat as if it had been dry for years except for the bitter tears that sometimes trickled in by accident.  Looking at the passengers on the train, he apologized for interrupting and intruding on his fellow citizens' time.  He continued to speak, though I could hardly hear him through the headphones tucked neatly into my freshly showered ears.  I watched his lips and body move.  He expressed himself humbly with intent on asking for the generosity of strangers.  

As he spoke, I watched the various subway riders in the car. There were about 25 people, excluding me, looking down at their phones, books or feet.  It felt as though the severity of his case was too heavy for people to lift their eyes to gaze upon him, but  I looked.  

His face appeared kind and sunken.  The stubble on his face were sparse and spaced apart like the luck he had seen in his life.  The tight curls of his dark hair clung closely to his scalp like the way a child clusters close to his family.  His smile seemed genuine though forced through hours, days, weeks or years of hardship.  

I felt moved to want to hear what he had to say, so I removed one of my ear buds and lowered the volume of the bubbly music I chose for this subway ride.  I caught one line out of his short plea.  He said, " I've been walking for miles today trying to get some money to buy food and thought I might have better luck on the train." He then thanked us and scanned the train for some activity of generosity.  A woman in the middle of the car wrestled in her bright red Prada bag for something.  

With hope in his eyes, he continued to do what he had been doing all day and walked with a slight limp over to his benefactor. His shifty gait made me look at his legs and then his feet.  On his feet he wore grey sneakers which looked like they were once white, but that was only once upon a time, a long time ago and in a land far far away.  By the time his hobbled walk led him to her, she pulled out a can of soda which he quickly put in his pocket and then put his hands together, as if in prayer, and thanked her.  He took one more scan around the train and exited the car at the next station.  

And although I made eye contact with him but only twice within a few minutes, this man reminded me of all the times when I would ignore folks asking for money and avert my eyes.  

I got off the train and I felt sad. My heart ached for the rest of that evening recognizing the privilege I have to own my own home, have a good and stable job, and have people I can turn to regularly for support.  I thought about him all night while I was dancing.  I felt helpless thinking about him as he was probably limping along in his journey like many folks do who aren't privileged enough to even be seen.  

So, I make this ask.  Please join me in making eye contact with folks who ask for money and food.  Even for a brief second, people need to be seen. 

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Innovation

In thinking about the shift in our culture in the last hundred years, I was curious as to what emerging themes helped create change.  Doing a short research via the internet, I found a great short clip about innovation.  This video offers seven questions that foster innovation.  The seven questions are:

1. What can we imagine?
2. What can we look at differently?
3. What can we use differently?
4. What can we move?
5. What can we interconnect?
6. What can we alter?
7. What can we make?

Check out this short clip.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Feminists in the South Bronx


Yesterday, I had the great fortune to work with two tenth grade classes at University Heights High School, located in Mott Haven section of the Bronx.  We talked about gender stereotypes, the power of language and ways in which we can shift our own culture to truly recognize all of us as equal participants in this world.

I was inspired by these young feminists and look forward to working with them again!

Below is a picture of us outside of the “red trailer.”

Monday, April 15, 2013

The Sticker and the Feminist


Hi there. 
 
Meet Ali. 

He owns a gas station and garage in Yonkers by the Cross County Mall.  I visited him last week as my car needed its NYS inspection done. 

While there, I noticed a white lanky guy in his  20s waiting for his car, which was being worked on in the dock.  On the back of his car was an offensive sticker (see below). 

The irony was not lost on me.  Ali, the mechanic working on both our cars, is Muslim. 
 



As a feminist, I can’t help but to notice these things on a regular basis.  The problem is I don’t  always know what to do.  Should I approach the owner of the car and ask him about his sticker?  Should I tell him I am offended?  If I did, would that offer any valuable impact or result?

I decided to make mention to Ali in private that bumper stickers are pretty interesting.  He then took a look at my “Proud to be a Feminist” sticker, and then glanced over to the other car.  His eyes locked on the anti-mosque sticker and smiled.

After a few moments, he asked the young man what was the meaning behind that sticker.  The young man turned bright red and said it was nothing.  “It’s just a joke” he added.  Ali asked the young man how he would feel about an anti-church sticker.  He asked him if that would be funny.

The young man sheepishly grinned and said, “No.”

At the register, Ali thanked me for bringing his attention to the sticker.  He had known this young man for over 14 years, “…since before 9/11.”  He told me that just after 9/11 his gas station (in Yorktown Heights) was trashed by several drunk white men screaming that they were protecting “their” country.  He added that he shared this information with this young man, when they were both much younger, and the blond white lanky boy shook his head because he couldn’t understand why people were so hateful.

As our conversation ended, I was grateful that my car passed inspection.  I paid my bill and drove off to the Bronx imagining, or hoping, that Ali and this young man will now have more conscious dialogue about the effects of racism, all because of a sticker and a feminist.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Where the Rubber Meets the Road: Dark Skin ≠ Looking Suspicious

Photo from A. Reyes-Evans
Tomorrow, at 9:30 AM, there will be a rally held in Mamaroneck.  Check below for info and join in the justice!

From Facebook:
"Dark Skin ≠ Looking Suspicious but Mamaroneck police seemed to think otherwise. Luis Quiros, local activist, community organizer, educator, and author, was considered "suspicious", harassedm and arrested--for sitting in his car in front of his home? Please see the above link for more details a...bout Luis's experience."

"IN RESPONSE, we will be showing up for his court date. It will be Feb. 28 9:30 at 169 Mt. Pleasant Ave., Mamaroneck, NY 10543."

"This will be a peaceful and nonviolent rally. We will be holding signs with messages like, "Dark Skin ≠ Looking Suspicious" and "Dissent is Patriotic" etc."

"PLEASE JOIN US & INVITE OTHERS!"


https://www.facebook.com/#!/events/432178113525162/


Sunday, February 10, 2013

A Shot in the Heart!

Today, I visited a friend on the upper west side of Manhattan.  We walked and talked about the various cool things NY had to offer as well as matters of the heart.

As we continued our journey, we found a great restaurant called the PeaceFood Cafe.  There, we ordered sandwiches and aweome Chic Pea Fries!  Yum!

At PeaceFood Cafe, all of the delicious foods are animal and animal secretions free!  Yup.  Everything on the menu was vegan and very good, in all aspects of the word.  So not only did the food taste great, but it was good for the heart!

My favorite person who speaks volumes on vegan issues, Colleen Patrick-Goudreau recently posted on FB a heartfelt message.  It read, "We tend to indulge in rich, decadent, animal-based foods when we dine with our beloved on Valentine’s Day. Ironically, the heart, the symbol of this romantic holiday, is the organ we stop from beating in animals, whose flesh and secretions we then then serve to loved ones, which in turn hinders the blood flowing to our own hearts. For the sake of our loved ones, our health, and the animals, choose life-giving rather than life-taking foods."

My friend and I parted after our scrumptious meal, and I headed to the subway.  There, I started to think more about the foods I eat and the reasons why I am a vegan.  I think choosing to be vegan was the best choice I ever made, however staying vegan sometimes gets difficult.  Today, it was easy. 

So when I got home, I decided to jump start the compassion in my heart by watching a few videos on youtube about veganism.  My heart skipped a beat when I found an interesting video about building muscle as a vegan starring Noel Polanco, a vegan male fitness model (see below).

In his video, he describes his typical breakfast and dinner as well as offers a sample of his workout routine.  You might want to check him out below as well as like his page on FB.

My heart is now racing, and probably beating a little healthier after a great day visiting with a friend, dining at a great restaurant and feeding my soul with the awesome choices I make to stay on the vegan path.

May joy fill your heart so that you can love more deeply.

Happy Valentine's Week!

Friday, February 8, 2013

Victoria's Secret Exposed - Just in Time for Valentine's Day!

The snow is falling in NY today and that might cut into some holiday shopping with Valentine's just a few days away.  Many people shop for various gifts during this time of year for their partners.  Many people go for the flowers, chocolate and jewlery, while other people go as far as to buy expensive underwear from high priced stores like Victoria's Secret. 



Well, have you ever wanted to really get to know a Victoria Secret Model?  Perhaps you have been itching to know the truth behind the camera? 

Well, you are in luck! 

Cameron Russell, underwear model, answers typical questions models are asked.  She does this in a thoughtful, humble, and honest way.  Please enjoy her reveal.





Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Mass Media Messages Through Gaming


Happy New Year and Cheers to you and yours!

This holiday season I shifted gears and bought a television into my home. Since then, my son and I have enjoyed hours of Netflix and video games!

On Netflix, we have been watching Cheers, the 1982 sitcom that takes place in a bar in Boston.

We finished the first season yesterday and we were both very much satisfied with it. It was funny and provocative.

Within the first season, Cheers had episodes on marriage, feminism, masculinity, racism, dating, homophobia and alcoholism. Thirty years later, theses issues are still important to discuss in mainstream media.





On our PS3, we have been playing Star Wars Legos together, and we are about 70% of the way done.

When I am working on my computer, I sometimes look over at him playing Resident Evil 5, and I can't help but to wonder how race and gender play out in video games.

In Resident Evil, the main character, who is a man, appears as muscular and the second character, who is a woman, is scantily clad, and both of whom are light-skinned.

You might notice in the poster that the male character is facing forward.  This is a typical stance for men in ads.  Please also notice the female character is facing to the side, but her body is facing backwards.  And more to the point, her butt is facing forwards in an enticing (vs. menacing) stance.

In Star Wars Legos, most of the characters are male with only a few female characters sprinkled in. When the game first starts, the characters that are automatically selected for both controllers are always male and light-skinned.

You can see the cover of the video game here with 9 male characters displayed and one female character.  All of the human characters that are not masked are presumably white. The one female takes centerstage with her right eye winking, her lips kissing, and her outfit ready to entice!

These are just my observations on two games in my own home. However, I am not alone in this discovery.  Below is a video put together by Feminist Frequency: Anita Sarkeesian.  She has compiled characters from video games and made some interesting discoveries.   
 
Please watch the video to learn about how she is discovering the tropes in videogames and what you can do to support her work.

BTW, tropes = a theme.
 
 

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

3 Gifts/Resolutions: Presence, Clarity and Openess


I am a college professor by trade, and as the semester draws to a close, I am feeling tired and weary. Any like many people around this time of the year, I am reflecting back on what I have done and what I want to do in the near future. So although New Year's is still a few weeks away, I created a simple list of resolutions/gifts for myself.

1. Be Present

When I am interrupted by someone, sometimes I forget to be present with that person.  I am eager to multitask and divide my attention between that person and what I am currently working on.  Sometimes I think that I am a PC with Windows.  I think I can run an application in the background while working on another program in the foreground.

I am renewing my commitment to do only one thing at a time.  I may be a little less efficient, but I will be more engaged and present!

When I am interrupted by someone, I will either stop and give them my full attention or ask them to wait until I am at a stopping point in my work. 

2. Be Clear About Being UnClear

Sometimes I make decisions when I am confused or not sure what the best answer is.  In those times, I feel an internal pressure to make a decision and thus come up short.

My goal is to give myself permission to be comfortable in the unknown gray areas.  I will answer IDK in moment of uncertainty rather than force an answer. 

3. Be Open

For a long time, being organized, linear in my thinking, and in control helped me.  I was able to go to school and work full-time at the same time and keep my sanity.  Being organized helped me organize over 250 events including retreats, workshops, and parties.

Now, I am adopting a new way of living where I am less likely to be in control and be more open to going with the flow regardless of the pace.  I am committed to learning the fun in letting go and accepting what is right in front of me.  And with a few weeks off from work, that will prove to be quite a time to practice this resolution.

I hope these are commitments that I will uphold for the duration of the year and then some.  May you enjoy the holiday season and also have the opportunity to be present, clear and open as well!

 

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Minnie, Smurfette and Jane



In a recent post, I shared my discovery of Mickey Mouse's whiteness.

From there, I started to wonder about the gender differences between Mickey and Minnie Mouse.

I started to think about her name, Minnie.  Calling a female character "mini" and then giving her a supporting versus a lead role to my mind is unfair and sexist.

And this inequity can be found in many other cartoons as well. Smurfs is a great example of this. Each character is named after his talent or special characteristic. For example, Brainy Smurf is very smart. However, Smurfette, the first female smurf, has a name that refers to her as less than, like Minnie. Is that her talent? Why is the first female smurf's name diminutive?

Boys and girls deserve to see more equity in their cartoons as well as in their formative years. And there is some good work being done to help create more balance in children's media.

Please check out www.seejane.com for more information.

Below, please meet Jane.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Mickey Mouse: Racism in Plain Sight



This weekend, I took a nice drive up the Hudson Valley to attend my friends' engagement party in Monroe, NY. Driving north on I-87, I was struck by the natural, beautiful and bountiful colors of the fall leaves. The gathering of family and friends at the party was nice and intimate, and yet, I was engaged with a picture hanging in the corner of the rented room.  This picture was of a firefighter and Mickey Mouse. 

 

My curiosity grew as I stared at this picture (featured above).  I wondered for a second what real mice looked like.  Searching through the images in my mind, I only saw mice whose faces matched the rest of their fur.  However, Mickey Mouse was a black mouse whose face was either white or creamed colored.  Curious!

 

Some quick research with Wikipedia told me that this design was intentional.  Mickey’s face was originally white and later redesigned with Caucasian skin tone.  Certainly, Mickey’s creators are very much allowed to make their own artistic choices, but I can’t help but to notice how race was an intentional choice made in the early 1900’s.

 

For most of my life, I thought that racism was about direct insults or exclusion.  However, after looking at Mickey once again, I am wondering if racism in America is more insidious and hidden from plain sight in cartoons and household names like Mickey Mouse. 

 

I spent 38 years thinking of Mickey as a dear childhood friend, not realizing that his face was painted with racial overtones.

 

This made me question a few things:

1.      Why did Mickey have to have a white or Caucasian face with a black body?

2.      How many cartoons characters have I loved and cherished and not noticed that they are depicted as "white."

3.      How many cartoon characters reflect positive images of people of color?

 

I shared my discovery with a few people at the party.  They were all polite enough to indulge me with some interest, and we continued to honor the engagement of our friends.  We ate, laughed, and celebrated the afternoon away. 

 

Driving away, I felt happy for my friends. 

 

As I traveled back down the Hudson Valley, I noticed the colors of the sky in the sunset and the hues of the leaves falling onto the highway.  I became more aware of the colors in our world, and I made a wish. 

 

I whispered out to the Hudson River, “May mainstream American images reflect the natural, bountiful and beautiful colors of all people as we move towards a world where even some cartoon characters aren’t more privileged than others simply based on their skin tone.”

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thanksgiving/Day of Mourning: Looking Beyond the Myths


It has been over 5 years since I celebrated any commercialized holidays in a traditional manner. Out of all the holidays, Thanksgiving, has been the most difficult holiday for me.

Personally, I still long for a familial connection as well as yearn for foods that feed my soul.  But alas, my family disowned me in my youth, and as a vegan, I am heartbroken to hear about all the turkeys that have been slaughtered for this holiday (some estimates states over 40 million).

Culturally, I long for a connection between the myths I learned in grade school and the truth about Thanksgiving. 

Today, I mourned the loss of my family, tradition, and innocence.  I reflected, forgave, and re-searched.  My feelings are mixed as I honor the history of my life and that of my country. Both are rich, complex and also painful.  And because, or inspite, of that history, I am here. 

As the night grows nearer, I feel empowered to share one video I screened that might help you also make the connection to our history.  Please watch, enjoy, and repost.

Oh, and may you enjoy your Thanksgiving/Day of Mourning!

Below is the video: Native Americans Mark Day of Mourning on Thanksgiving: "We are not Vanishing, We Are Not Conquered"



 

Monday, November 19, 2012

Conscious Choices

Everyday we get to make a bevy of choices. Many are made without thinking.  Some choices happen out of habit, while others are influenced by systematic oppression through the pressure and reptition of the media. 

In my lifetime, I have said over and over again, "I should have thought that through," or "I didn't think about that," or "It was by accident."

So, for today, my intention is clear.  I will aim to make as many intentional and conscious choices so to avoid making choices that I later regret.  This will make many of my choices to reflect my deepest values.  At the end of the day, I intend to be able to say, "I did that on purpose."

May you enjoy the opportunity to do the same.

Friday, November 16, 2012

PrideWorks? Yes it Does!

As a birthday present to my son, I invited him to participate and volunteer at an LGBTQ focused conference in Tarrytown, NY. There, we were lucky enough to spend the day learning and sharing with hundreds of other LGBTQ youth and straight allies.

This annual conference is called PrideWorks, and oh does it! I heard a central theme throughout the day, which was, "If we lived in a more accepting, tolerant and loving culture that encourages everyone to take pride in their innate beauty, then we would have less suicides, truancy, alcoholism, and other self injurious behaviors." One example of that is that studies show that any school that has a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) builds confidence and pride in their students because the students feel like they belong and are supported.

As my son and I, who both identify as gay, walked out of the conference, I wished him "happy birthday" once more with my arm over his shoulders. He was beaming with pride thinking about his participation in the day's work and said, "You know, I think pride really does work!"

You bet it does.

How have you helped a young person feel a sense of pride this month? Please reply below.