Congrats to the Graduates!

On June 9th, 2012, my son, Blair, graduated with his Associates Degree in Culinary Arts from Monroe College, Bronx Campus. I am so proud of his work and accomplishments.

The weather was blissfully sunny with a gentle breeze, and the elegant ceremony was held at the Jacob Javit's Conference Center in Manhattan.

Earlier that morning, I remember getting dressed in my suit and tie and telling my son how handsome he looked in his suit. We then met up with my dear family friend, Uncle John, who normally wears jeans and t-shirts. When we met up with John in the Village, Blair and I were both surprised to see him dressed in a navy blue suit and matching tie! This was the first time I can recall seeing John in a suit since the early 90's.

Blair's Graduation Video:

We grabbed a quick lunch at Cab Caliente and then headed towards 35th street for the ceremony. Once there, I lost track of my son as he disappeared into the crowd of other graduates lining up for official pictures and directions.

John and I were alone now, alone in a crowd of people.  There we noticed other families and friends of graduates with their phone cameras and camcorders.  More importantly, we couldn’t help but notice the difference in dress between the men and women.

This got me thinking. What is it about gendered fashion?

It seems men and women must adhere to a different set of rules. Most of the men in the audience were in their men’s uniform, including suits, ties, jeans, and button down shirts, and usually solid and dark colors.  Some would adorn their necks with low hanging chains or their wrists with glistening watches.  A varied few would sport a fashionably styled hat or even baseball cap.

And even though the female uniform was similar, in that bling was a must on the wrist and neck, there was a significant difference in wardrobe from that of men.  Women in the audience wore short skirts and dresses that were mostly brightly colored and with floral prints.  The rule seemed to be to make sure everyone can view their long legs, made even longer with heels that were several inches high. And although many men wore jeans and a baseball cap, no woman was without a skirt or dress and their hair done-up!

Interestingly, I heard several of the men complaining about their female partners walking too slowly. In fact, after the ceremony, I heard one guy say to his female partner that she’d better hurry up, or he would leave her behind!  Oh, and the woman in question was a graduate.

I remember waking up that morning, getting dressed in 15 minutes and felt only excitement for my son's graduation.  I wonder what I might have been feeling if I were this woman.  Maybe I would feel pressured to fix my hair, shave my legs, and wear something that was revealing only to be harrassed about taking so much time in the house, then later chastized for walking too slowly in my heels.

I am grateful for my privilege as a man that I don't have to wear heels.  But as you can see in the picture to the right, I have worn heels before.  My son and I particpated in an event last year to support a domestic violence shelter where we collectively raised over $500 for Berks Women in Crisis.

This past Saturday, in Reading, PA, other men learned how it felt to walk in heels as they participated in “Walk a Mile in Her Shoes.”  As a male ally, if you haven’t walked in heels, I urge you to consider it before you get annoyed at someone in heels for walking slow.

My son, the college graduate, and I have worn heels and we are both better for it!  Perhaps if more men wore heels, women might not be pressured so much to wear them and walk faster! 

What are your thoughts?