She sent me a thoughtful and lengthy email, which included a video link to a discussion about Black Feminists. I think she was concerned and confused. Below this is part of the email I wrote her after painfully listening to the hour long video. Please let me know what you think.
The video she sent me is: http://youtu.be/8mJMjIHmsZ8
Quote from the Tariq Nasheed:
"You are a black woman, but you are a feminist."
Please brace yourself before you watch it.
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Portion of the email I sent her:
I had a difficult time listening to Tariq as he started his show being verbally abusive towards a woman and perpetuated misogynistic perspectives from a "Man up" lens.
Feminism is not about men and women treating each other badly. Feminism, as you know, is about the strive for equality for both men and women on an institutional, interpersonal and internalized level. Domestic and Dating Violence or simply unhealthy relationships is only one part of the issue. Tony Porter does a great job speaking about DV. He speaks eloquently about these issues and helped open my eyes to learning about how race impacts dating violence. Please check him out using this link: http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=tony+porter&oq=tony+porter&gs_l=youtube.3..35i39j0i5.339606.341252.0.341417.11.11.0.0.0.0.116.752.10j1.11.0...0.0...1ac.1.11.youtube.2SN93NHZwp4
I do appreciate Tariq's ability to stay neutral with his callers as well as challenge them to think more critically about the issues. He clearly is interested in helping people, and that is commendable. However, I find his sexist language unchecked and sometimes quite offensive.
To my mind, he is certainly doing good work on race relations, but I imagine he can think more about the sexist and heterosexism and transphobic paradigm he continues to perpetuate unintentionally. Feminism is not about being less of a man, but being more. I don't wear dresses or kilts and I have not asked my boys to do the same. What I do is ask them to do is reconsider what it means to be a man.
Being a feminist is not about being feminine, gay or simply standing up for women. Being a feminist is about standing up for human rights. Many of Tariq's underlying themes relate to social justice and equality. So, I would submit that if Tariq learned more about feminism, sexual orientation (hetero and homo- sexualities), he would probably be a more effective leader. He might even identify as a feminist, like President Obama does. Based on this link, it appears he is in denial of his homophobia and transphobia. He labeled a perspective as a lesbian perspective, when that is not the case. He continues to say "sexual preference" when it is "sexual orientation." These are some examples of why I think he could do well to learn a little more about LGBT issues as well as what the true meaning of feminism.
Tariq said, "Black feminism is an oxymoron." I don't understand what he means. He is misinformed, albeit well intentioned. I hope he continues, as I have, to learn about social justice and the ways pop culture portrays feminism, and racism in juxtaposition with actual feminism and racism. A black feminist is a man or woman or child who identifies as black and is interested in equal rights for all people. It used to be that a feminist was only interested in creating equal rights for men and women, but that was a long time ago. Feminism is about equal rights for all.
I so appreciate you sharing this video/link with me as it helped me think through more of the positions people take when they have only part of the story. I look forward to seeing how Tariq continues in his journey of helping people, as his heart and spirit is certainly well intentioned and we need more people like him.
And, you probably already know this, but I have found that many people confuse feminism and being
feminine. Feminism, as
previously discussed is a movement for equality for all, (though many
defnitions still incorrectly state that it is in particular for women).
Being
feminine is different. Femininity is about the traits generally
associated with being a woman or a girl including roles and behaviors.
Of course, some men and women are feminine, but that doesn't mean they
are feminists and vice versa. Some feminists have long hair, wear
dresses, make up and the like, while many, especially the men, don't.
I think of it in this way. Feminist = Equality while Feminine = Dress Up. Some people who fight for equality do dress up, but not all. Some people who dress up fight for equality, but not all. AND many men who are feminists are quite masculine and butch. And of course, a few women who are feminists can be masculine and butch as well.
I think of it in this way. Feminist = Equality while Feminine = Dress Up. Some people who fight for equality do dress up, but not all. Some people who dress up fight for equality, but not all. AND many men who are feminists are quite masculine and butch. And of course, a few women who are feminists can be masculine and butch as well.
Please check out the following videos about Feminism, Race and Masculinity:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7woNwM4_J8 - Condoleezza Rice: My Father was Feminist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YA13GNT8Mc - This is What a Feminist Looks Like
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hg3umXU_qWc - We Should All Be Feminists
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOQZqCGHctE - I Am a Man: Black Masculinity in America
http://www.itvs.org/films/hip-hop - Intro to Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKq0MwnMGcU&list=PLCC77DC92A01D4A41 - Gloria Steinem Supports President Obama
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3exzMPT4nGI - Tough Guise: Violence, Media, and the Crisis in Masculinity
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