To my surprise, many of my friends replied in the same way. The collective response was, "I'm so glad you are focusing to take more care of yourself!"
In these conversations, texts, and emails, I realized that I missed my friends so much. I wondered how could I cultivate more time to spend with them. In one interesting phone call, I discovered the answer.
Just last week, I was on the phone with a friend sharing a problem that I was facing. My friend paused me for a second, and told me I was slipping backwards in my journey of radical self care. My focus in the conversation was less on me and more on the person I was trying to help. My friend then told me, in the most gentlest way, that I was not seeing the warning signs. I kept making excuses for what would be red flags because I was too focused on wanting to be helpful.
As you might expect, I was troubled by this. I argued there were no red flags. The issues exhibited by the person I was trying to help were minor.
My friend retorted by saying perhaps I could pay attention to the bright pink flags that can easily and quickly turn to red flags. Bam! I just got served a hot juicy plate of a reality that was just outside my worldview. Why should I wait for the red flags at all?
After that phone call, I wondered how many bright pink flags have I ignored and then was later surprised to see glaringly dangerous red flags in their place. If I didn't spend so much time making excuses for people with bright pink flags, how much time could I save? How much time did I lose every day, week and year? What if I saved that time (and energy) and spent it on me, or on friends that I really care about?
In 2014, I am drawing the proverbial line in the sand. No more bright pink flags for me please.
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